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남문기	2007-11-15 00:00:00, 조회 : 76,423, 추천 : 651

보이지 않고 잡히지도 않는 큰 포부를 품고 정든 산야를 떠났다. 유창한 언어까지 버리고 가족친지들을 등지고 이역만리에 둥지를 튼다. 타국에서 새로운 친구를 만들어야 하고 경제적 어려움을 감수하는 것이 이민이다. 그렇게 낯선 땅에 발을 내딛은 후 같은 한인, 동족이란 이름과 믿음으로 친분을 쌓으며 이민의 외로움을 달래곤 한다.
짧은 영어와 주류의 장벽으로 서로의 문화에 한계에 부딪치며 실망을 하고 정신적으로 어려움을 겪게 되면 참으로 참담한 곳이 이민생활의 단면이다.
어려운 이민생활에서 인간관계에 상처를 받고 돌아서면 모든 세상이 적으로 보일수도 있다. 불과 몇 개월전 미국, 아니 세계를 발칵 뒤집어 놓은 버지니아 공대 총격 사건이 바로 관계정서의 황폐에서 비롯된 것이다.
우리는 늘 이웃 사랑 하기를 내 몸과 같이는 못하더라도 사랑으로 대해 주었으면 좋겠다. 이는 종교 경전이나 성인의 말씀이기에 앞서 최소한 ‘내가 잘 살기 위해서’라는 측면에서도 설득력이 있다.
‘이웃사촌’ 이웃과 친분을 쌓으면 천륜보다 더 두터운 관계가 될 수도 있다는 것이다. 어쩔 수 없이 가족이 된 친인척보다 혈맹으로 맺어지는 전우가 중요할 수도 있는 것이고 또한 직장 동료가 될 수도 있으며 처음 이민 왔을 때 도와주는 이웃이 될 수도 있지 않는가. 이것이 이민자들의 특수한 환경이 아닌가 싶다.
이민 초기에 나도 그런 가족이 형성된 일화가 있다. 딸아이가 태어났지만 맞벌이를 해야 하니 집안일을 돌볼 도우미가 필요했다. 당시 연세가 65세인 한 할머니를 만났다. 입주 가사 도우미를 하기에는 연세가 좀 많았지만 면접에서 할머니는 벌써 우리 집에 있을 작정을 한 것 같았다.
몇 마디 형식적인 질문을 하고 있는데 갑자기 벌떡 일어나 자신이 거처할 것으로 생각하는 방으로 가더니 들고 온 보따리를 풀어놓는 것이었다. “이 집이 내가 있어야 할 집”이라는 게 할머니의 말씀이었다. 나도 때로는 막무가내이기는 하지만 할머니는 한 수 위였다.
그 이후 나는 아내와 아들에게 단단히 일러두었다.
“할머니는 절대 가정부가 아니다. 당신에게는 시어머니나 다름없고 아이들의 친할머니와 진배없다. 우리가 가족으로 대하면 친할머니처럼 하시고 가정부로 대하면 가정부 역할밖에 하지 않으실 테니 진심으로 잘 하라.”
그 후 내 말처럼 됐다. 모든 가족이 친어머니처럼 대하자 모든 음식을 우리가 좋아하고 건강에 좋은 것으로 챙겨주셨고 새벽에 일어나셔서 식사준비를 하고 출근하는 나에게 근사한 아침 식사를 차려주시곤 했다.
자랑 같지만 나는 연로한 어른들만 보면 친어머니나 친아버지처럼 느껴져 친근하게 행동하고는 한다. 그러나 보니 어르신들에게 귀여움도 잘 받는다. 생각해보니 에이전트 시절 판매왕을 차지한 요인이기도 했던 것 같다. 어른들을 잘 모셔야 하는 것은 조건이 아니고 당연한 것이기에 이것은 의리라기보다 사람 사는 정이라고 해야 할 것이다.
그 할머니는 내 아이들에게는 이미 오래전부터 친할머니 이상의 존재였다. 딸 아이가 초등학교 다니던 시절 도시락을 미처 챙겨가지 못했을 때의 일이다. 할머니는 그 애가 생후 2개월 핏덩이일 때 오셔서 직접 키워서 그런지 사랑도 각별했다. 그런 ‘손녀’가 점심을 굶지나 않을까 하여 할머니는 도시락을 가지고 딸의 학교까지 걸어서 찾아가셨다. 그러고는 학교의 온 교실을 헤매시다 마침내 손녀를 발견해 도시락을 전달했다.
미국에서는 총기사고나 유괴사고 등 안전문제 때문에 많은 경우 학교 오피스의 허락 없이는 외부인이 아이들의 교실로 들어갈 수 없게 돼 있다.
그런데 영어 한 마디 못하는 동양 할머니가 그 일을 해 낸 것이다. 자그마한 체구의 동양인 할머니가 오로지 “에이미 남” “에이미 남”만을 간절하게 외치며 불쑥불쑥 교실을 찾아다니는 모습에서 학교 경찰이나 교사도 감동을 했던 모양이었다. 차마 제지하지 못하고 할머니 뒤를 졸졸 따라 다녔다고 했다. 그 일이 있은 뒤 할머니 얘기는 그 학교에서 두고두고 이야기 거리가 됐다. 교사들은 내 딸을 보면 “오늘은 도시락을 가지고 왔냐?”며 농담을 하거나 “그 용감한 할머니는 건강하시냐?”고 안부를 묻곤 했다.
할머니는 20년만에 우리 집에 떠나셨다. 우리 아이들이나 모든 가족은 지금까지 할머니를 잊어본 적이 없다. 워낙 헌신적으로 돌봐주셨다는 것을 잘 알고 있기 때문이다.
사실 할머니가 우리 집에 들어오던 당시 우리는 형편이 어려웠다. 일을 하기 위해서 도우미가 필요했다. 한국에서도 부유하게 생활하시던 할머니는 한국에서 명문대학을 나온 자제들이 자리를 잡았으니 떠나실 수도 있었다. 잠시만 머물자고 우리 집에 왔었는데 정 때문에 20년이란 세월을 흘러보내신 것이다. 할머니의 2남1녀 자식들은 모두 나보다 연배가 높다. 떠나시는 그 당시도 모두 중류 이상으로 유복하게 살고 있으나 할머니가 한사코 우리 집에 있기를 고집했다.
“애기 아빠는 내 아들이고 제니는 내 딸이다. 또 석정이와 미아는 내 손으로 직접 키운 내 친손주들이다. 이들이 단 한번이라도 나를 가정부로 대했으면 내가 진작에 보따리를 쌌다. 이들이 나를 친어머니와 친할머니로 모시고 있는데 내가 어디로 간단 말이냐. 나를 데리고 간다는 것은 아예 꿈도 꾸지 마라. 어림 반푼어치도 없는 말이다.”
할머니는 아들에게 우리 집을 떠나지 않으시는 이유를 이렇게 말했다.
할머니의 따뜻한 고집으로 인해 결국 나는 형제가 2명이 더 생긴 셈이 됐다. 할머니의 생신 등 중요한 일이 있을 때마다 우리 집을 찾아와 우리와 함께하곤 했다. 나는 할머니와의 인연을 통해 또 한 가지 중요한 것을 확인하고 있다. “사람이 사람을 진심으로 대하면 상대도 나를 진심으로 대하며 그것은 곧 새로운 가족을 만들어가는 비법”이다. (213)999-4989
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2015-06-06
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2015-06-16
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01:16:27

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번호	제목	작성자	작성일	조회
187	"이봐, 해봤어?” (1) [41]	남문기	2008/01/03	35427
186	시간의 소중함 [24]	남문기	2007/12/27	45503
185	에덴동산에서 산 들 [23]	남문기	2007/12/20	23971
184	잘 하겠습니다 [45]	남문기	2007/12/13	8991
183	진흙처럼 뭉치자 [40]	남문기	2007/12/06	7833
182	마음을 갈아 엎자 [21]	남문기	2007/11/29	25326
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180	이미지가 파워 [38]	남문기	2007/11/08	36377
179	늘어난 수명과 투자 [58]	남문기	2007/11/01	22270
178	남의 성공이 나의 성공 [40]	남문기	2007/10/25	8627
177	안주는 퇴보다 [36]	남문기	2007/10/18	31268
176	하자 그러면 기회는 온다 [19]	남문기	2007/10/11	13004
175	나를 인정하는 것 [36]	남문기	2007/10/04	32649
174	인생의 폴리스라인 [15]	남문기	2007/09/27	36253
173	위기의식이 경제를 살린다 [90]	남문기	2007/09/20	15363
172	다른 사람과 똑같다면 [41]	남문기	2007/09/13	35043
171	스스로 최선을 다하는 사람 [39]	남문기	2007/09/06	43350
170	마음을 열면… [8]	남문기	2007/08/30	21212
169	"그러려니…” [53]	남문기	2007/08/23	39422
168	'적재적소’와 ‘안분지족’ [41]	남문기	2007/08/16	31581

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